II

(Disarmed)

It was a shot in the dark

A gesture made in blindness

My loose arms were caught in caution

Should they bind me to my word

Which is always blurred

When fingers touch first

I had a taste of the fog

A history in my bedroom

The freckle on your mouth

Remembered like an heirloom

I had no truth to assume

And no god to confess to

But I was hypnotized by the size of your mind

And I was hypnotized by the size of your mind

Disarmed by design

Disarmed by design

Hypnotized

I am hypnotized

There was no mirror in my chasm

Until appeared a paramour

Fevered­blistered bonsai

Straining out my vocal chords

I had no sun to grow toward

Or stone to pull a sword from

And when it comes it says “build, build, build your guard”

And when it feeds, it makes a banquet of the harvest

This disease is like a drowning thief

I’d rather keep you from it

And let it sink me

But I was hypnotized by the size of your mind

And I was hypnotized by the size of your mind

Disarmed by design

Disarmed by design

Hypnotized

I am hypnotized

+ + +

(Vampire)

I’ve been fearsome

Sucking on my sore thumb

Living off of morsels

Trying to fill my torso

20 dollars left to me

But you’ll have me sing for free

But you’ll have me sing for free

Vampire sets his eyes on me

You tried to suck me dry

Sink your teeth in and imprison me

But I’d die before you take your bite

Cross my heart and hope to keep alight

Hope to keep alight

Hope to keep alight

It’s been weird though

I’m so comfortable

In my black hole

Swearing that I’m in control

But a dollar will not set me free

When a vampire sets his eyes on me

20 dollars left to me

A dollar will not set me free

You tried to suck me dry

Sink your teeth in and imprison me

But I’d die before you take your bite

Cross my heart and hope to keep alight

Hope to keep alight

Hope to keep alight

I don’t know where the time goes by

I carry it around like a blackened eye

Bonsai beauty, hindered in size

Kept me contained so I learned not to rise

The ones who one day will recognize me

Hungered, and suited to vandalize me

It always seemed to drain me white

Since I was 15 and young as pink wine

Taken work horse, then taken hide

Cut from the bloom and mending the bite

Oh, to be beneath

Can’t hide their teeth

You tried to suck me dry

Sink your teeth in and imprison me

But I’d die before you take your bite

Cross my heart and hope to keep alight

Hope to keep alight

Hope to keep alight

+ + +

(Debauchery)

Kids these days, they don’t ask

With their brains or their hearts

Smoke and mirrors and hiding

In their rooms, not finding

Their desires with their hands

Talk, not walk

In no man’s land

Debauchery ain’t what it used to be

Debauchery ain’t what it used to be

The great divided, and gravely undecided

Kept up in the dark with our affections unrequited

We’re so unkind

I’m leaning from my envy

I’m kneeling to my touchscreen

An unfeeling debauchee

Veneered until I’m something

Our desires are in our own hands

But we just talk shit

As we walk into no man’s land

Debauchery ain’t what it used to be

Debauchery ain’t what it used to be

In no man’s land

In no man’s land

In no man’s land

Debauchery ain’t what it used to be

Debauchery ain’t what it used to be

+ + +

(Deep Woods)

When I was lost in the deep woods

Drowning in the river

Poisoned by the foliage

In the absence of shelter

I think you came looking once

In the late evening

Sauntering in, calling my name

Your impatient tones carried by the wind

Carried by the wind

My tongue was swollen

I could not answer

But as quickly as you came, you left the deep woods

Knowing I would make it

I’m trying to see the path

But it is simply too dark

I’m attempting to stay warm

But I cannot light a fire

I remember the medicine

I made for you when you were sick

I added my right hand

And the yellow spirit

Yellow spirit

My tongue was swollen

I could not answer

But as quickly as you came, you left the deep woods

Knowing I would make it

I don’t often pray

But I am praying

Not to find a way

But to forget that I prayed

+ + +

(16 Years)

16 years, 16 years

By 16 I carved a canyon of tears

I’m still so young, crystal new

16 years between me and you

My baby he got me a big hotel

Picked away at my dented shell

My lover and I might die in song

Cause his full­time lover’s eight months along

16 candles, 100 fears

By 16 you were a broken spear

In a safe city we fell into the moon

16 years between me and you

Well I’ve been a bad girl, but I’ll write a good song

He said I’m wise, but I think he’s wrong

I’m building a garden

Building a shrine

For a tempestuous lover

Who isn’t mine

Will he tear me apart?

Or do I give my quarted heart?

Will this love come and drown me dark

Or sail me away like Noah’s Ark

Like Noah’s Ark

16 years, 16 years

By 16 I carved a canyon of tears

I’m still so young, crystal new

16 years between me and you

+ + +

(My Hunter, My Forest)

Light my forehead, light my forehead

Light my forehead, light my forehead

I was buried on the mountainside

I missed the light, so I wiped my eyes

Wedding dress tucked in between my thighs

Forehead , light my forehead

Forehead , light my forehead

Like blossoms from my forehead

I was the apple of his eye

Before he took my life

Night sky grows the sunset

Tinder of the forest

I kneel myself before it

If you go to the mountainside

You may sense a lifeless light

If you look, then you just might

See her pass you draped in white

Night sky wilts the sunset

Like blossoms from my forehead

My hunter and my forest

He cut me down before it

I was buried on the mountainside

I missed the light, so I wiped my eyes

Wedding dress tucked in between my thighs

I was the apple of his eye before he took my life

 

To the mountainside

To the mountainside

 

Self Titled

(To Be Young)

How can I keep my shoes tied
Clean up on the inside
Go to bed by midnight
So I can see the sunlight? 

I want to see the sunlight

If it wasn't this inertia
I'd run away to Russia
Dance with who I wanna
Like Anna Karenina

So I say no no no no
I don't want to go home no no no
I don't wanna grow old no no no no
I can live this bold all on my lonesome

Perhaps we'll get just what we want to
If we pretend we want you
Sweet-dream you up a new hue of
Blue to match the sky to

Oh, I bet you wish you were young again

I want to live my past life
This one goes so fast by
I'm bored just like a housewife
Of cleaning up the inside
Of cleaning up the inside

So I say no no no no no
I don't wanna go home no no no no
I don't wanna grow old no no no no
I can live forever, just on my own time

So I say no no no no no
I don't wanna go home no no no no
I don't wanna grow old no no no no
I can live this bold all on my own time

+++

(Everything)

It isn't very beautiful
The way i hate how I am
How I don't know many things
And obsess over romance

These days I fall in love everything
Anyone who passes by
Any canopy of blossoms
Or sounds whispering 'cross the sky

I fall in love with everything
But no things notice
My deep care and devotion
Each and every emotion

I fall so hard I laugh
Surrounded by strangers who think
Maybe i am crazy in wide open public spaces
I fall so hard I cry
For no reason or rhyme
For hours till I have to sleep or I'll die
I swear I'll die

I'm never hungry like I used to be
I'm never satisfied with anything
But I fall in love with everything
Unless it's cloudy
With a chance of rain

I fall in love with everything
But no things notice
My deep care and devotion
Each and every emotion

It isn't very beautiful
The way that this comes across
You won't like it you'll get lost
In my narcissistic, desperate
And melancholic thoughts

I fall in love with everything
But no things notice
My deep care and devotion
Each and every emotion

+++

(Big Star)

Since she fell from the clouds
hit the ground
and broke her bones
since she fell from the ground
hit the ground
and broke her bones

she showers in a golden chain
she's shaving for all of the sun rays
raving smokers, memories sink in
her hair reeking of nicotine
she got bottle service somehow
along with the cats she knows now
being sweet has got her so far
she's convinced she'll
be a big star

since she fell from the clouds
hit the ground
and broke her bones
since she fell from the ground
hit the ground
and broke her bones

my mind, my mind
carnivorous as a bird of night
my heart, it binds
like clasping hands and young lover's fright
ghost limb, go lightly
in shadows cast by lightning
I'll hide away my innocence
and learn to nevermind it

my mind, oh mine
it took no time to feel unrefined
with time, i'll bind
and youth will pass like a slow sunrise
my limbs will find me
I'll learn to cool the night's heat
and when I find me, never remind me
never remind me of this

since she fell from the clouds
hit the ground
and broke her bones
since she fell from the ground
hit the ground
and broke her bones

+++

To Me To You

there ain't no use in being twilight blue
if I've done it to you than I have done it to me to
I can be dark as the back of the moon
like the place in your heart where you cover up the through
couldn't see the gap but I felt subdued
shouldn't have kissed back but he kissed me too

lets just turn red
I'll slip out of your head
and you'll stray out of my bed
put an end to our restlessness
lets try feel less
I'll slip out of consciousness
and you stray 8 to 10 steps ahead
put an end to whatever was left

I ain't been covered up since the day I was born
I wish I knew less but I think I know more
now I'm looking at your floor now about to take my last bow
wasn't sure how to keep my head from the black clouds
I could ignore everything that I know
nothing to reap if there is nothing I've sewn

unwillingly we now unravel
learned to glide through night avoiding peril
mind the cage to cease its rattles
but my face it tells it shows by shadows
turn on a heel back to the hallows
my heart won't die aside the gallows

there ain't no use in being twilight blue
what I've done to you you've done to me too
has your heart gone dark as the back of the moon
where is the place that you covered up the truth
are we going backwards
what s the use
what gets passed to me, gets passed back to you
to me
to you